Things My Husband and I Argue About - An Objective and Balanced List

Whether you should walk through Ikea the way you're supposed to: following the arrows and enjoying the seamless, modern Swedish common sense experience concluded by cinnamon rolls... or, take all the short-cuts and risk missing out on an item of household furnishing that could complete your life.

Whether you should sit two thirds of the way back in a movie theatre, enjoying the panoramic experience of sight and sound... or directly underneath it, causing neck dislocation and permanent hearing loss.

Whether to hang the dog's winter coat on our coat rack, since it's so cute and costs more than all of our coats put together... or store it in a separate dog cabinet with his toys and snacks and winter boots because it's "dirty from the street".

Whether the dog should be allowed to get into bed with us whenever he wants, thereby increasing his self-esteem as a loved, appreciated and cuddle-able family member... or only after he has been decontaminated, disinfected and bleached.

Whether to only make the bed on weekends when it will be used as a picnic space/couch/dog-cuddling-zone/meditation pad/existential crisis area... or make it daily, because an unmade bed "is depressing".

Whether crepes are actually pancakes

Whether it's okay to watch the Grinch before the Christmas tree is up

Whether french fries count as salad 

Whether Donovan counts as music

Whether takeout souflaki delivered to our door by a man named Savino counts as cooking dinner.

...To be continued. 

Obviously.